Should I stay? Should I go?

Should I stay? Should I go?
When staying would be harder
And leaving would be smarter?
How am I meant to know?

Should I be the martyr
And stay to face my worries
Or leave them all behind me?
Who am I to barter

The pros and cons of sea,
Sun and the city over
Comfort, wealth and a home where
The possibility

That I could be happy,
Or sad, lies? How am I to
Know where I’ll find my sky blue,
When all I seem to see

Are neither clouds nor silver
Linings, just a thick blanket
Of fearsome fog? Would I get
Lonely there without the

Strength my close friends give me?
Or is that what I require?
Some time to stand up, higher,
By myself: to live free

Of the safety net that
Became tangled round my feet?
But why do I have to beat
Myself up for the fact

That I like having friends,
That I like being homely,
That I hate being lonely,
That I won’t make amends?

How am I meant to know
If leaving would be smarter
Or staying would be harder?
Should I stay? Should I go?

© Simon Parkin

I wrote this when I had to make a decision about whether to stay in Brighton or move 'oop North.

I consulted the I Ching which said that I was in a time of danger and that when in danger one should make small steps. This made a great deal of sense to me. Especially when I made an appointment to look at a house-share in Reading and the reality of making such a big step hit me in the face. I phoned the Reading house-share back within half an hour of making the appointment and cancelled!

Instead I went and lived in the countrside near to Brighton for a couple of months while I found a house-share back in Brighton.